Sing for me;

We will fight back.

Dear Niall Horan;

(Mostly, when I say “you” in the first paragraph I mean the Band One Direction itself, not only Niall)

I know it’s a lot to ask you, Niall, to read this. That’s why I won’t. I mean, it would make my life if you did. But I neither force you to, nor necessarily need a reply. Because all I want, is to let you know what you do to me, or perhaps even other fans. 
Like I said, I don’t expect you to read this, but if you do:
“Hi, I’ve been listening to one direction for about, what? One and a half years, something like that. I must admit, I first didn’t give a fuck about y’all, because I thought ‘1D’ was just another mainstream-boyband. But when I saw one of your videos, I realizes I should off give you a chance. And at least try to listen to one of your songs. Eventually I liked ‘One Direction’. I also have to confess that I usually listen to slightly different music. Post-Hardcore, mainly. 
But with you it’s different. Your music touches not only my heart and soul, but also my mind and thoughts.
And I’m aware of that you aren’t the only member of the band, but this one goes out to you only. I know, that ‘One Direction’ wouldn’t be the way they are, if anyone was missing, but I want to thank you particularly.  I don’t exactly know how to find words for what I want to tell you. But I’ll try. Did you realize I’ve been quite annoying the past two (or something) weeks? Hopefully not, but if so, I tried to talk to you so bad, because I wanted to tell you the following. I once had the plan to tell you personally, but reality screwed that up quite badly. But actually the harsh reality unfortunately is, that I’ll probably - pretty certainly - never see you live. Because, you have to know, I live in Austria. A place you’d never include in your world-tour. Anyway, I will now stop the excuses for my really pushy behavior. And start with the important:
Niall, thank you for the strength you’ve given me the past year. I know I don’t know anything about you, and I know you could care less, but you’ve got something about yourself that’s so damn… well, let’s call it special.
Something that gives me the guts to believe in myself, I don’t know how you do what you do but I love it.
When I hear your laugh or see your smile I automatically have to smile. When I listen to your voice singing, I feel like I can do anything, reach all the things I want and be who I really am. And I know this must sound weird to you. 
But with some things you do, you even make me feel unique.
I guess I’m lucky having the ability to listen to ‘one direction’ and be able to watch your interviews.  
And I might sound weird, but you and your music kinda changed me, because your band has been there for me, when I needed it the most. They sometimes made unbearable things bearable to me, because I knew that the music would always be there for me. No matter if it’s a happy song or a sad one, I mostly can relate to it. 
When it’s a sad song I can get lost in it and when it’s a happy song it cheers me up. 
It makes me wanna jump up and dance to it.
Also you are a very strong person, because I know people often told you nasty things, things you don’t deserve to hear, things nobody deserves to hear. But I am now here to tell you, that you belong to ‘One Direction’ no matter what anyone else might say. I guess the past few months you’ve gained quite a lot of fans.
But I’ve always liked you, as much as I can like someone I know nothing about.
And you’ve got so much potential, you play the guitar so well, you have such a special voice and you deserve all the fame and all the success you have.
I just want to say thank you again - thank you for making me fight for what I believe in, thank you for helping me grow up and thank you for giving me the strength to be myself.
This was pretty bad, but I’m just not good with words, I didn’t even say half the things I wanted to. But I hoped you kinda realized how important you are to me. Important as an artist of course. 

Yours faithfully,
a normal Fan.

If ANYONE read this, you deserve a HUGE hug. I know Niall didn’t read it, but it’s fine. But if anyone else read it, really - THANK YOU! ♥ 

My nails are too pop-punk to match my outfit. 

and in the final hour, I’ll be a confident coward, ‘cause if we stand for nothing, we’ll fall for anything.

Shuffle Game :)

1. How are you feeling today?

  • Tonight - 3 Feet Smaller
2. Will you go far in life?
  • Dear Maria, Count me in - All Time Low
3. What is your best friend’s theme song?
  • Golden City - From Dawn to Fall      
4. What was high school like?
  • Welcome to my life - Simple Plan

5. What is the best thing about you?

  • Loser - Cute is what we aim for (nice!)

6. How was today?

  • Are we the waiting - Green Day

7. What’s in store for this weekend?

  • Misery loves it’s Company - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (seems to going to be great..)

8. What song describes my parents?

  • Poppin’ Champagne - All Time Low (haha)

9. How is my life going?

  • New Start - From Dawn to Fall

10. What song will they play at my funeral?

  • Bad enough for you - All Time Low (fine if they change it to “dead enough for you”)

11. How does the world see me?

  • Tell me I’m a wreck - Every Avenue (yup.)

12. What do my friends really think of me?

  • No Friend’s Weight could break me - No More Encore

13. Do people secretly lust after me?

  • Boulevard of broken Dreams - Green Day (True story)

14. What should I do with my life?

  • Feeling Sorry - Paramore (going to all the same places? wow)

15. Will I ever have children?

  • Trip - Hedley

16. What is some good advice?

  • The Story of your life - We The Kings

17. What is my current theme song?

  • Where were you - Every Avenue (holly shit - yeah.)

18. What does everyone else think about my current life?

  • This might break your heart  - No More Encore (wow. that’s so kind of them. <3 But I’m not always on top.)

19. What type of men/women do I like?

  • American Idiot - Green Day (might be true.)

20. Will I get married?

  • S U double F E R - 3 Feet Smaller (please, no.)

21. What should I do with my love life?

  • Lost Sense of Shame - 3 Feet Smaller (my iPod obviously likes 3 Feet Smaller and to torture me)

22. Where will I live?

  • Right Girl - The Maine 

23. What will my dying words be?

  • Damned if I do ya, damned if I don’t - All Time Low (hilarious :D)

24. When I meet a boy/girl for the first time I will say…?

  • One - Simple Plan (Would be creepy.)

25. When my parents are angry, I say?

  • All To Myself - Marianas Trench (Oh, wow.)

26. Will I ever get the career I want?

  • False Pretense - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 

27. What do my colleagues think of me?

  • Unhearted - Automatic Loveletter (can live with that.)

28. Do I believe in God?

  • Skyway Avenue - We The Kings

29. How can I make myself happy?

  • My Only One - All Time Low

30. When I’m with my friends, I say?

  • We’re leading Here - No More Encore (hilarious. <3)
Stand back up and be a man about it - FIGHT FOR SOMETHING.

It&#8217;s a shame, that it had to be this way;it&#8217;s not enough to say I&#8217;m sorry.It&#8217;s not enough to say I&#8217;m sorry! Maybe I&#8217;m to blame, or maybe we&#8217;re the same;but either way I can&#8217;t breathe. Either way I can&#8217;t breathe!All I have to say is goodbye, we&#8217;re better off this way. We&#8217;re better off this way!
I&#8217;m alive but I&#8217;m losing all my tries;&#8216;cause everything we&#8217;ve been through;&#8216;cause everything about you seemed to be a lie;a guiltless twisted lie, that made me learn to hate you.Or hate myself for letting it pass by. 
Take my pain away;tell me I was wrong!Take my pain away;tear it out!

Dear &#8220;best friend&#8221; ♥&#160;;
I am so proud, to call you my friend. Well, I was. I was so proud to have the abilty to spend time with you. But where are you now? Where did everything go? We both lost what we&#8217;ve had.
And you know what disappoints me the most? That I actually believed in you, believed in our friendship. I kind of put all my faith in you and all you did was throw it away. 
There is a book of people who made me stop believing, and I guess I&#8217;m truly able to put you on the front page. Probably because I trusted you with everything, I thought you were different. I guess you just aren&#8217;t. Obviously, if you like talking shit about me behind my back. I mean, I guess it happens at times, but if we talk about it, I want you to be true to me. I wanted the truth, when I asked you if there was anything wrong, not a  guiltless lie right into my face. Without even regretting it. 
You don&#8217;t even feel sorrow about losing me, you just went to someone else and started a &#8220;oh so wonderful&#8221; friendship with them, but know what? I&#8217;m happy about it. I mean it hurts, but I wanted you to talk to me about it, not just sit there and pretend that nothing happened. By acting as nothing happened at all you showed me that you do not have guts and do I want to have a best friend without guts?
Yet I wanna thank you now, thank you for reminding me, that I should not throw myself out on another persons whim, like I did at yours. For showing me not to rely on anyone but myself and most of all, thank you for some great memories, for life- changing evenings and funny days. I wouldn&#8217;t want to have these memories with anyone else but you. I don&#8217;t feel bad about you being in my past, because you were a part of my life, a great one, for about a year. But everything in life is temporary, the good things about our friendship were, and so will be the pain about me leaving you. I&#8217;m moving on, slowly, but it will do. I will be fine.

It’s a shame, that it had to be this way;
it’s not enough to say I’m sorry.
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry! 
Maybe I’m to blame, or maybe we’re the same;
but either way I can’t breathe. 
Either way I can’t breathe!
All I have to say is goodbye,
we’re better off this way. 
We’re better off this way!


I’m alive but I’m losing all my tries;
‘cause everything we’ve been through;
‘cause everything about you seemed to be a lie;
a guiltless twisted lie, that made me learn to hate you.
Or hate myself for letting it pass by. 

Take my pain away;
tell me I was wrong!
Take my pain away;
tear it out!

Dear “best friend” ♥ ;


I am so proud, to call you my friend. Well, I was. I was so proud to have the abilty to spend time with you. But where are you now? Where did everything go? We both lost what we’ve had.

And you know what disappoints me the most? That I actually believed in you, believed in our friendship. I kind of put all my faith in you and all you did was throw it away. 

There is a book of people who made me stop believing, and I guess I’m truly able to put you on the front page. Probably because I trusted you with everything, I thought you were different. I guess you just aren’t. Obviously, if you like talking shit about me behind my back. I mean, I guess it happens at times, but if we talk about it, I want you to be true to me. I wanted the truth, when I asked you if there was anything wrong, not a  guiltless lie right into my face. Without even regretting it. 

You don’t even feel sorrow about losing me, you just went to someone else and started a “oh so wonderful” friendship with them, but know what? I’m happy about it. I mean it hurts, but I wanted you to talk to me about it, not just sit there and pretend that nothing happened. By acting as nothing happened at all you showed me that you do not have guts and do I want to have a best friend without guts?

Yet I wanna thank you now, thank you for reminding me, that I should not throw myself out on another persons whim, like I did at yours. For showing me not to rely on anyone but myself and most of all, thank you for some great memories, for life- changing evenings and funny days. I wouldn’t want to have these memories with anyone else but you. I don’t feel bad about you being in my past, because you were a part of my life, a great one, for about a year. But everything in life is temporary, the good things about our friendship were, and so will be the pain about me leaving you. I’m moving on, slowly, but it will do. I will be fine.

Dear Josh Ramsay;

Even though he’s probably not going to read all of it, because it’s a lot and he’s busy, I feel like I need to tell him, or just the world. Or anyone who reads it.
To me, he is one of the greatest and strongest human beings out there. I mean? Look at what he’s been through and how he got out of all that with a smile. It makes me proud to be his fan. It’s beautiful to see how he shares his story with everyone. Trying to help them. He might have a weird sense of humor (which I find hilarious) but it’s just part of him. And I’m sure I don’t know him. Probably not at all. But I guess I’m lucky having the ability to listen to his band.

They have been there for me when I needed it the most. They dried my tears, they kept me alive. They even made unbearable things bearable. For instance, when my brother had this car accident. They just calmed me down. It was a great feeling knowing that their music would always be there for me. 
I’ve been knowing the band for, i guess 4 years now, and I can honestly say that it’s great to see how mature they got, with everything. It’s incredible that they stayed themselves and grew up at the same time. That’s something only a few bands can say of themselves. And I’d defend them at any daytime, you could possibly consider them my favorite band. Because if you know what music is, you have to like the band. I mean it’s a matter of opinion, but to me it’s impossible not to like their music.

To me their music is more than just art, it’s a masterpiece. It kind of gives my life a meaning. I know it really sounds like I must be exaggerating, and of course my life would have a meaning without their music anyway. But just a different, I guess. Because listening to Marianas Trench made me to the person I am today. They affect my life with their music, lyrics and I guess even stories they sometimes tell. They touch not only my ears but my heart and my soul, they can get down to the point where I’m the most vulnerable and protect me. When I’m listening to their music it feels like I can be anyone, like I can become somebody. They give me the strength and guts I always wanted to have. They make me believe in myself and just anyone else. 
With them I can be sad yet happy. with my head in the clouds yet thoughtful. shy yet open. I just can be myself, I guess. And yes, I wouldn’t change anything about the band.
Because of them I met my crush and my best friend, and I need to thank them. I need to thank them for the most amazing people in my life and for the hope they give to me. 

Have you seen any other guy(s) with so much potential and talent? Sometimes I can’t even believe how much time I spend listening to them, watching their interviews or just getting to know them a bit. I mean, I know I’ll never meet anyone of the band, because I’m just living in a place they’ll never visit. And I’m aware of the fact, that I don’t know anything about them, and I don’t wanna marry any band-member, or whatever. But it’d be just a dream to see them live somewhen. Not just so they know I exist, but because they blew my mind. I don’t necessarily need to hug them, or get a picture with them. I just want to hear their music live. Maybe have a chat with them, not about their music or just so they remember me (because they wouldn’t) but because I want to know what such amazing talents are like.

Anyway, the main reason why I wrote this whole thing, (And if anyone read it ‘till here this person honestly deserves a hug)  is because I wanted to say:

Get well soon, Josh.

You are such a strong person and it would be ridiculous if you can’t smile through this all :)
I hope you’re pretty alright.